𓈒　　　╱　　　　i thought i had found the one　　┈　　❜ 　 𝒥　　⌣　　adam　　　　/r　　　⸺　　ꜛ i'm glad we were able to meet each other in person, despite the fact you were attempting to be an asshole the entire time we were hanging out, you still managed to be extremely sweet. i hope that at some point we can hang out again, doesn't matter where; you're fun to hang out with, honestly. i'm not a very "social" person, you're practically one of the only people i talk to, but it's enjoyable. maybe you'll actually admit you're gay instead of getting flustered and trying to hide it. i'll never forget what happened when we hung out by the way; you getting flustered over the fact i kissed your hand, you leaning against me-practically cuddling at that point, not protesting against me holding your hand, basically forcing me to hold your hand and trying to hide it as the fact that you "didn't want to get lost". you're terrible at hiding things. you know, alcohol is a depressant that affects the central nervous system, which lowers inhibitions and causes a lack of self-control in your behavior. which is very likely to cause you to say things you don't normally confess when sober-mainly due to the fact you're less able to filter your thoughts and feelings; or things you say to another individual. meaning technically all those times you've said "i love you" while drunk was you expressing things you couldn't say while sober. :) also; sleep deprivation is an altered state of consciousness, which is akin to being intoxicated (drunk). 17 hours of sleep deprivation is equivalent to a 0.05% blood alcohol concentration, which is likely to make you more talkative, relaxed, and confident. so being sleep deprived isn't an excuse either-it's the same as when you're drunk. sleep deprivation makes your filter go away, and essentially causes you to channel your stream of consciousness to whomever you're talking to. all in all, anything you've said while drunk and sleep deprived, whether it be "i love you", or things akin to that, are all your consciousness, and either way you're still responsible for what you say and do. so :) i love you, too. there's no denying it anymore with the fact i gave you two paragraphs of education on topics as such. back on topic though, i love talking to you, you're sweet-and stupid, but does that matter? i think what matters most is that i'm actually able to talk to you like i do, i enjoy it, even when you try to act "tough" and like you don't love me-it's all humorous really. thank you for sticking with me for these past 9 months we've known each other for, i appreciate it. i love you, so much. i hope you snap out of whatever kind of denial you're in soon, because it's just sad honestly. no matter what happens though, i'll always love you, and i'll always be here. you're the best person i've had the pleasure of meeting, and hopefully the relationship we have will last a while. <3 𐄈　　we were good as married in my mind　　　➴